Jimmy the Groundhog in Government Sponsored Witness Protection; Claims International Plot to Delay Spring

SUN PRAIRIE, WI - With the continuation of winter weather in the south central Wisconsin region, Jimmy the Groundhog has been placed in protective custody due to perceived threats to his health and safety from those impatiently waiting for Spring to arrive.

Jimmy has not been made available to the public to answer questions about the seemingly never-ending winter. In light of pending weather forecasts, he has issued the following statement from his seclusion:

“Thank you for your patience as we are all dealing with this extended stretch of unreasonably cold weather. I concur that this is unusual, and contrary to my earlier prognostication to such an extent that I am cooperating with federal officials in the investigation of possible tampering with our climate.

Officials were initially led to believe that in response to unfavorable trade parameters, Canada intentionally redirected cold air at the United States. However, further investigation has found no evidence of interference from our neighbors to the north.

Officials continue to investigate other possibilities, including manipulation of world markets by the International Mittens Association, the attempted reclamation of North American habitat by Polar Bears, and the hacking of the National Weather Service by Russians.

I ask for continued cooperation and patience during these troubled times, and know that Spring will arrive soon.”

Additional information will be shared as it becomes available.

In the meantime…THINK SPRING!...